Saturday, June 25, 2016

A letter to a dear friend. From a Conservative to a Liberal, seeking authentic understanding.

Dearest friend,

     Hello. Some things are pressing on me emotionally and spiritually and I believe the time has come for me to share. I enjoy our visits and I enjoy your company. I think both you and your husband are excellent hosts to me and you have shown friendship. I realize we feel differently on many subjects and for that reason, I try to keep my thoughts to myself so as not to make anyone feel inflamed. After yesterday’s visit I feel that I must say a few things so that in our future work together, we can be relaxed and understanding. 

     There are two subjects that I would like to bring up; Christianity and America. When you mention one or both, I can hear the acid dripping from your tongue in hatred. This disturbs me in a few ways but I would like to get into some detail with you on how it makes ME feel. Let’s start with the Christianity thing. I am not a church going Christian. I was raised as one. I didn’t care for our church but when I think back on it as an adult, many of those people were genuinely caring, loving and concerned people who had loving families, good support structures and they lived the values that they believed. Yes, I have negative memories of that time. However I also have memories of bonding with other children, feeling loved and feeling those moments of a light heart and I believed at the time that I was feeling connected to God. As an adult, I can recognize that my mother had major issues and that a lot of shame that I acquired was from her and not ALL from my experience in religion. There are good and bad experiences in every path of life and in every group of people. We are human and there is no amount of force that will ever change that. 

     The majority of my clients are conservative Christians. Not one of them is a hateful person. When they speak about their concerns, love is underlying their words. There is also fear. I don’t agree with everything they say. I do agree with a LOT of what they say. 

     I am currently in a spiritual crisis. I will be totally honest and bare my soul before you so that you can fully understand where I am coming from. As a young lady who was out of her mind, I rebelled against church and my parents and school. I didn’t want to do what anyone told me. Lucky for me, my parents had so tirelessly instilled their values in me that no matter what, my core values were there, if at different levels of watered down. Anyway, to keep on task, I had a lot of fear in me that came from church. I don’t know if you remember but when we were kids, Geraldo Rivera did a special on satanic kids and murders for rituals. Then it was like a craze swept the nation. There were a few people in our church that became obsessed with this stuff, unfortunately for me, one of them taught youth classes. So I had this big paranoia of good and evil and the apocalypse. So I started searching for another answer. I found quantum physics. I love science and I find it fascinating. It was great therapy for my fear and paranoia. I have also always been interested in the pagan practices. In my mind, using quantum physics principles, I could understand how belief and ritual, prayer and meditation could influence your brain and your environment. Belief affects your choices and their outcomes. Once I saw it that way, my prejudices relaxed toward religion somewhat and I was able to feel peace and continue my search for inner peace with whatever might work for me. So, I guess you could say that my entire life has been a spiritual study and you could really say that about anybody. It is all about growth. 

     So here is my crisis. As I have aged, I have seen many similarities in my studies. I see in the bible where it is clearly talking about aliens. I see where it is clearly referencing quantum ideas. There is a lot of bullshit in it but the core principles are very good. They promote peace and understanding. Thomas Jefferson once had a bible written that only had Jesus’ words in it. All the other stuff discarded. It is really great stuff. And why should that be surprising? There are prophets in every age. I digress. Here is the crisis. The more I study and the more I look and the deeper and deeper I go, my studies keep bringing me back around to God. And the older I get and the more I deeply embrace the great responsibility I have to my children, the more I am pulled back to the core values I was taught as a child that really do make for a quality life. Don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t steal, don’t kill, honor your mother and father, don’t covet your neighbors stuff, and the rest. Those are important lessons of life. Those keep a person out of trouble. I walked into the church my egg lady is the pastor of and I had never seen such a beautiful room. It is a small, itty bitty church but in the congregation room, there is this big window of all different colors of glass and it shown onto this small gathering room of a few pews and I felt something. I felt something big being pulled from my chest. I wanted to go into that room and sit and cry. It was over in an instant because she led me to the back where the eggs were but for that instant, I recalled the feeling of connection to God and I wanted nothing more than to surrender. In fact, I am crying as I type this to you because I am having a major realization. So many obstacles in my life: letting go in a holotropic breathwork, letting go to be able to dance, letting go to trust a companion or friend; all I have wanted in life is the freedom to surrender safely. That is so huge. I gotta go smoke on the porch and process this then I will come back to the letter. That was big. 

     Okay. Back to it. My growing experience is that Christianity is not a bad thing. There are bad people who make mistakes in every group or organization. That will always be the case. When I hear you speak with outright prejudice against Christians, I have to wonder what they are doing specifically to you that make you so vehement. Is it your childhood experience with it? And if it is, would it be more correct to say that your negative experience was due to humans that you encountered in that experience and the human things that turned your stomach were judgment, condemnation, shame and control issues. Did it have anything to do with the actual message? 

     When I think of the atrocities that have been committed in history due to religious zealotry, I have to think of the facts. The Catholic church is not the Christian church. In fact, when there was a movement to reform religion, there was a lot of death. Christians have been persecuted for centuries. The Romans used Christians to entertain the masses by being ripped apart by tigers, raped by horses and so on. When Christians wanted to reform the church, they were killed in huge numbers. It’s easy to say that Christians have been committing atrocities for centuries but that is simply not a fact. A corrupt super power that had enmeshed itself so tightly in the governments of the day, were so absolutely powerful that they were absolutely corrupted and many people died. Christians wanted the freedom to practice their faith and to grow spiritually in the way they wanted that they left Europe and came to the new world. 

     This is where the subject of America comes in. The last two visits to your house, you have said the word America with utter disgust. That deeply disturbed me but I kept it to myself. What I hear from the context clues I have gathered from the time we met, I feel that you have bought completely into the deconstructionist education system that has been in place since the 1960’s. Has America done everything perfectly right since its beginning? No, of course not. Has America done some truly amazing things since its beginning? Yes it certainly has. People like to say that we came over here and massacred the Indians and America is built on the blood of the natives. That is a gross generalization and history speaks differently. When we first came here, we had good relationships with the natives. We purchased land from them and more often than not, in court disputes over land, judges ruled in favor of the Indians. Britain, as we were still British citizens, made alliances with the Indians and we had working relationships. Then the French got involved and they made alliances with other tribes who in the French and Indian war would murder and scalp colonials in a battle that was between France and Britain. Britain and France were at odds in somewhat of a cold war. In war, alliances are made and people pick sides and fight. To try and paint a picture where the Indians were a purely peaceful lot is just false. Humans interacted with other humans and sometimes the interaction was peaceful and at other times it was not. When people really did the Indians unjustly was during the gold rush and our government did not spearhead that movement. Those were individuals who acted against the government and went into the black hills anyway. At first when the Sioux alerted our government that Americans were invading their holy lands, our Army was set up to turn them back. But after the Civil War, the economy was in such a terrible state, people were poor and starving and there was gold in those hills. Our Army eventually gave up because they could not stem the flow. Also, the fact that there was no law whatsoever attracted the worst sort of people. The fact is, when the first people encroached on land expressly denied by the Indians, the majority of those people were lawless, psychopathic criminals who were going to do what they wanted to do. Once many mining towns were set up and it was obvious that people were getting rich, France’s interest in the territory was renewed as well as Mexican interests. (I never hear the Left talk about what the Spanish did to the Aztecs, Incas and Mayans. I wonder why? There would be no Mexicans today if the Spanish had not taken over with mass slaughter and then breeding with the natives. No one talks about that.)

     What I am getting around to here is that yes, bad things happened but some really amazing things also happened. For example, in our history books that we learn from in school, we behave as if black history consisted of slavery and then the civil rights movement. There is SO much more than that. Black Americans had major roles in the founding of this country. There are books about the bravery of black soldiers fighting alongside us in the Revolutionary war. One black man was the first ever American spy and double agent and because of his actions alone, cut the war short by months and saved hundreds of lives. There were black theologians, scientists and some even held public office in those very times. We aren’t taught about that. Why? When you look at the signers of our Declaration of Independence, out of 56 men, only three had slaves. The rest were strict abolitionists. By the time we had the Revolutionary War, many states had already outlawed slavery and the import of slaves. Once again, the focus is on the minority of negative but ignoring the overwhelming majority of positive.
During the Salem witch trials, 30 people were killed. Maybe 27, it’s close. What people don’t know is it was 2 Christian priests who came to the court in Salem and told them, this goes against our Constitution. You must stop this killing. Yes, Christians stopped the witch trials in America when in Europe, the Catholic church and bad courts killed what some say was 60,000 people and other historians say 9 million people were tortured and killed. Again, focusing on a small minority, stretching it out to hang over the Christians and ignoring that it was the court’s decision, thwarted in the end, by Christians. At least in America. 

     Now, yesterday when I was talking to you about this great book I was reading, I was saying how she did a random survey and then specifically interviewed Christian men. I could feel you stiffen and it was like I could hear the construction begin on the walls in your mind against whatever might come out of my mouth. At least that is how I perceived it. Before I could even say what I was going to say that I found fascinating, you bring up the Christian dominance in our society as if it were a bad thing. I would like to share with you some facts about the Christian beginnings of our country. Of the 56 men who signed our Declaration of Independence, 33 men held seminary degrees. The majority of them were Christians. In the 1960’s professors decided to teach that our founding fathers were Deists, but that is false. When you read history books where they print entire speeches without removing words, they were Christians who believed in God. We have the freedoms we now have because of the Christian beginnings of our Nation. They said that people had certain unalienable rights to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. In our Declaration, it recognizes that there is a Creator. 

     If you and I had had the extreme misfortune to be born someplace else, we would not have the amazing lives we have now. There are many places we could have been born where our genitals would have been mutilated. We could be somewhere where we are not allowed to speak to men, or to show our face; where if we are raped or even accused of being raped, we would be put to death. We could live where it is legal for our husbands to beat us. We could live where we are not allowed to protect ourselves and if harm came to us, we would be unprotected by our government. We may have money troubles now but to other people in the world, you and I are living very richly. Women have it better in America than any other country. We enjoy more freedom and power here than anywhere else. Honestly, when I hear you bash Christians yet stand up for Muslims who oppress their women, I have to wonder if you are thinking clearly. Christians are not killing people. They are not cutting the heads off of children. They are not raping young boys, young women, children and old ladies to death. Christians are not going into gay clubs and killing them. Muslims are. Why? Because in Islam, they believe it is compassionate. They believe the only way to save the homosexual is to kill them. There was an Imam from Afghanistan in Orlando right around the time of the shooting that was giving a talk about it at a Mosque. I am not making this up. There is video footage of this respected Muslim teacher saying, “There is no need to be embarrassed. For homosexuals, we must show compassion. To care for them, we must get rid of them now. Death is the sentence.” Muslims raped a 5 year old girl in Idaho last week and they people of that city are outraged because the city council said that white supremacy caused the rape. Where is the accountability? Where are the consequences? I told you that rape was going unpunished in other countries due to people shouting ‘Islamaphobia’ and that I was worried it would happen here. Do you remember me saying that? 

     I guess the point I am getting at here is this. I really like you and I am afraid you are buying into prejudices because you identify with the Left. I would encourage you to dig a little deeper into world events and into actual, very detailed history to find where your prejudices are coming from. Am I prejudiced against Muslims? Yes I am. I am because I have taken the time to study their religion. I have taken the time and effort to study their scriptures and I am aware of the truth of what I have read, and from what I have sought out in their own media. I also have the experience of working with Veterans. You know, no one wants to go to war. But when you stand up for Muslims saying they are pissed because we have gone over there and killed a bunch, you don’t know all the facts. I have read countless books on the origins of war in that area and it goes back long before America existed. We didn’t help things and we have made mistakes, I won’t argue there. But let me offer some perspective. Vietnam Veterans don’t hate the Vietnamese. They hate the hippies that spit on them and treated them so horribly when they came home from a war they were drafted to and had no choice but to fight in. They don’t hate the Vietnamese. Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans HATE Muslims. Do you know why? Because they have lived there and they see how they live. They see how horrible they treat their women, the see their women put up with it and encourage it because their salvation is at stake. They see terrorist regimes that are not connected to government, just terrorists, come into a village and throw their infants on a fire and they listen to the screams of babies dying yet can’t get the order to stop it. One brave soldier was dishonorably discharged because his commanding officer said whatever you hear, do NOT get involved. Stay in this tent. And he heard a man raping a young boy. He heard the boy screaming and the mother crying and he lost it. He went out, stopped it and beat the shit out of the man and was immediately sent home. He did the right thing. Our military hate Muslims because they see that they live by a system of terror. You really want to talk about systemic abuse and prejudice? Look at the nation of Islam. It is horrible and disgusting and every time I see a Feminist rant on Islamaphobia, it makes the entire feminist movement look like hypocrites for standing up for the abuse of women and children, yet they cry about Christians and the conservative movement that is solely responsible for the amazing and free lives they enjoy today. 

     So after all this, I guess the roundabout thing I am getting to is this. I have kept my mouth mostly shut when it comes to politics and religion when we converse. I don’t want to feel stressed out when we visit. However, I want you to know that I am open to having these conversations with you. I am sure they would be lively and there would be an exchange of ideas which is always welcome. I can’t relax when there is prejudice against things I love. I am not saying I love Christianity as a whole. I believe there are a lot of great ideas and I recognize its role in the formation of the greatest country on earth. I will say that I LOVE America. I really do. Am I happy with the way our government has usurped control of a lot of our freedoms? No. Am I happy with our foreign policy? No. But I can recognize that We The People voted those assholes there by not voting our values and I commit to voting my values from here on out. I love what America is supposed to be. I love the original dream. I love that we are free women. I love that people’s individual choices can either take them far into the heights of accomplishment or sink them into the depths. That is true freedom. I love America. If there is something you don’t like, you have the freedom to attempt to change it as long as you are not stepping on the rights of others. So know that when you speak badly of my home, where I am free to pursue my happiness, I experience anger. I have really been studying the Constitution, the Revolutionary War and our Founding Fathers these last few weeks and I have decided it will be my major focus of study until school starts. The more I study what happened, what they went through, how they struggled to achieve what they did, my love and loyalty grow. I am willing to die to protect my freedom and the freedom of my children. I love America enough that I will not sit idly by and watch it be destroyed. I love what this country means, what it is supposed to stand for and I will lay down my life to defend it. So please know that when you want to speak badly about America, I am not the one to do it to. I will no longer bite my tongue. I will respond.
I appreciate you taking the time to read this. Like I said, I enjoy your company. I look at you and your husband as friends. You are my most liberal friends, haha! I respect your feelings and I respect your house. I am thankful you enjoy my bread. I thoroughly enjoy our non political or religious conversations and I look forward to many more. I will look forward to debate if you choose to debate me.
Have an excellent day. I hope you are feeling better. 

Sunday, November 30, 2014

My Holotropic Breathwork Experience

My Holotropic Breathwork Experience

            I wanted to share an amazing experience. Actually it’s a myriad of experiences that spawned from trying something new; Holotropic Breathwork.  It would be dishonest to say I had never heard of it before. I had read about it in a book I received as a present in 1998. That book happened to be my first experience of realized manifestation, meaning I actually realized I had manifested something. That book was The Holographic Universe Theory by Michael Talbot.  I recommend it. I also recommend that if you know someone who you really think should read it, buy them their own copy. I bought this book 6 times before I realized it’s special enough to keep once you’ve got it.  The friendly hands you let lay on your copy will be the last time you ever see it. Isn’t it wonderful to find books that can be such a powerful blessing?

            When I read The Holographic Universe Theory, I was a young girl of 18. The book was fascinating but there was so much science in it that I couldn’t understand. I found myself accepting it as truth because scientists had discovered this or that, math proves it and so on and so forth. It was empowering but mildly. It began, however, a journey of self discovery that I have pursued to this day and is ceaseless.  My most recent experiment on this journey of self discovery and enlightenment led me back to that book and a new understanding of its contents.  And that, in and of itself, is the beauty of a holographic understanding of experience.

            Recently, I moved my office in with Circle On The Square; a wonderful group of healers and teachers. My becoming a part of this group was also an episode in an alignment of events to perfectly meet my needs. It is another story for another time but I am so thankful to be involved. When I began my practice with them, I noticed a flyer for a Holotropic Breath Workshop. My curiosity was piqued. I spoke aloud how I would love to attend this class. As the time drew near, the lovely ladies that host said that those who worked with The Circle could attend for free. Well, if it’s free, it’s me. I couldn’t wait!

            It began early in the morning. We learned that we would partner up with one of the group we didn’t know, so as to not project any beliefs onto that person that might interfere with their experience. One of us would breathe in the morning while the other sits for them and then switch for the afternoon session. Each session would be three hours long. I chose to sit first and breathe later.

            Sitting for my partner was an interesting experience. We are not provided many opportunities in life to selflessly hold space for another, without directly involving ourselves in the situation. All I was there to do was to make sure they were breathing, to provide them with water, tissue, more/less blankets, to make sure they didn’t cause harm to themselves, or to help them to the bathroom.  It’s a wondrous experience to be there for someone you barely know, if you even know them at all. As a massage therapist/body worker, I am geared to use my knowledge and get involved.  Not this time. Just sitting there, holding what Rosan, one of the ladies hosting, called, “Keeping a sacred appointment.” What powerful words to so correctly describe our responsibility as sitter!  I’m going to leave that there and where I may come back to it later, I would like to move forward to the breathing.

            When it was my turn to breathe, I laid on the soft mat on the floor, complete with sheets, blankets, pillows and under-knee support. I was very comfortable. My partner and I discussed our ‘contract’ as in what hand signals I would use for tissue, water, bathroom, etc. No words would be needed.  I made sure my body felt comfortable and I settled down to see what I could see.

            In a holotopic breathwork session, there are three hours of music. The first hour is very beat-heavy; lots of drums, with bass reverberating through the floor and shaking your insides. The music is extremely loud.  The second hour is very epic and the third, more meditative and calming. While the music is playing, the breather breathes faster and deeper than normal to achieve a non-ordinary state of consciousness.

            When I started to breathe, I’m sure I was having the thoughts of everyone else in the room. “This isn’t going to work for me; I’m not going to do this right. Everyone will have an awesome experience but me…” the typical self sabotaging thoughts. Somewhere through my doubt, I noticed something.  I noticed a little, nagging, sad feeling, lurking around the edges of my awareness. Before the session started, the facilitators told us to exaggerate anything we were experiencing. To move our fingers more if they started moving, to feel something more if we were feeling something; to bring it to the surface. So I made this sad feeling grow.

            “I’m sad that I felt totally neglected by my mother when I was a young child.” Wow. Where did that come from? It came from me. It was real. I was feeling it. There was no denying that this was something that was really bothering me even though in my day to day life, it wasn’t something I thought about. I felt very sad and angry. I thought, “How dare she?!” And it went farther. I somehow plugged in to the relationship she had with her mother.  I felt her sadness as she felt ignored by a mother who was trapped in a feeling of helplessness due to an abusive relationship.  I felt this long line of sadness that stretched back generations of women in my family.

            Then I saw my son, Dexter, and my daughter Melaine.   I felt how they feel neglected and ignored by me. At that point, any reservations I had about holding my composure in a room of strangers fled. I sobbed. The wall was broken open and the guilt, remorse, and realizations of pure selfishness accompanied by extreme self loathing, scorched my spirit.

            After feeling this way for a while, my mind started to come back to the music. My temperature would fluctuate. I was feeling cold and wondering at what just happened. My mind drifted to a picture a friend had shared. It was of a Saint who had her breasts removed while being tortured by the Inquisition. She was a statue, smiling, holding a platter displaying her severed breasts.  My body began to get warm, then hot and I was back in whatever craziness was happening to me.

            I saw the statue as if I were there.  As I was looking at her, I felt an immense helplessness. I felt betrayal on a deep, primal level.  The awareness expanded and it seemed like I had tapped in to a stream of female suffering. It went back years and years; the death, the killing, the rape.  I felt so many, individual sufferings that became a whole sweeping song of torment. Being held down, forced, murdered, left to watch as those we love were killed, tortured, raped, and overpowered, and the ever-present feeling that the oppressor believed we were somehow less. It infuriated me.

            That is when this adventure took a gruesome turn, as if what I’d already seen hadn’t been grotesque enough. When I say what I am about to, I wish there were a way to put into words the feeling of it.  In my mind I saw a Middle Eastern woman on her knees. It was dirty.  It was the desert but in a town or city. She was screaming at the sight of a dead little boy lying in the street. Either shot or half blown up, I can’t remember the details of him. I was locked on to her.  Her helpless cries that would not bring back her son, would not end the fighting, would not end the immeasurable killing, screamed endless death.  

            Then I saw what I can only assume were people who worked with radical Muslim political groups responsible for so much struggle. For the sake of this paper, we’ll call them terrorists.  They were laughing at her from across the street. And it came to me how these men had come from wombs of WOMEN! It seemed like an endless cycle. We birth them into the world, they grow up, and some of them prey on the very essence of what gave them life. Some of those men kill, rape, torture children and kill them. 

            A feeling of acceptance started to creep over me. I felt like the lesson I had learned was that women love, fiercely, and it was our personal curse that we would love what hurt us so deeply. It was a thing to be swallowed so we could continue on our paths as mothers, healers, lovers and so on.  I signaled to my sitter and to Rosan that I was done and ready to leave the room.  Luckily, they won’t let you leave the room until they’ve checked you out. She looked me in the eyes and asked me how I felt. I told her, “I feel that I’ve learned an important lesson and now I just want to go sit in the grass and cry about it.” She said, “Why don’t you lay back down and I’m going to stay right here with you. I will be right here.” She placed her hands on either side of my head and I closed my eyes.

            “I’m going to need you to bring up that feeling. Make it stronger. Hold it in your mind.” I didn’t want to, but I did not enjoy the way I was feeling at all and if I could pull myself out of it, I would do it.  I brought up the only images I knew would get me there fast. I thought of dead children. The tears began to flow again and quickly turned to sobs that racked my chest and hurt. Little girls and boys having been hurt; Mothers crying, Grandmothers crying, no end in sight, we are doomed to be treated as the lesser sex though we love so much…

            Somewhere, under the surging fire of helpless fury, there was a great big Something. It was strong. It was very intense. It called to me.  I saw the children on the ground surrounded by their weeping families and then below them I could see into the Earth. I saw a definite Feminine figure moving from the depths of the Earth up closer to the surface. She didn’t break the surface but she took and absorbed, through the soil, every tear and every drop of blood. She took them into her and she loved. She loved and she used that energy, transforming the death into Life in an endless cycle.  There was no judgment of good or bad.  She just Loved. This is where I learned the real lesson.

            It was not a curse. A Woman’s ability, capacity for and tenacity to Love is our greatest strength.  I also felt the wonderful Men out there that enjoy and benefit so greatly from our naturally healing, nourishing Love. And though we have suffered evil men and they will continue to arrive here on the planet, the strength of our Love has not faded. It is very strong. I realized I had separated myself from it over the years of my life and experience. However, to feel it, be surrounded by it, to swim in the pure, unconditional Love that is here for us, I only wanted to share it. I only wanted, from that moment on, to share my unconditional Love with others. I wanted to enjoy Loving my Man. I wanted to share my Love with my children. I wanted to share my Love with the people at The Circle. I wanted to take the energy that was around me, pull it into myself, transform it and release it back into the World, just like the awesome Great Mother I was so blessed to have witnessed.

            Another very powerful lesson I learned at this same time in the breath work was the vision of how to heal ourselves and the planet. I saw, so crystal clear, that this world needs Us. This world needs women to embrace who they are. It’s not weapons, politics, ranting, nagging, manipulating, bullying, lobbying, voting, or anything like that. One word sums up what this world needs from women.


            Yes, that’s it. If we, as women, could open up to that space in ourselves that is devoted to the naturally ingrained want/need to nurture, replenish, protect, to Love, we can truly forgive. We need to face Man, look at him fully, take his full presence into our soul, feel it, caress it with our energy, open ourselves up to the point of true vulnerability and with every particle of ourselves, look Man in the eye and say, “I FORGIVE YOU.”  Let the past fall away. Let the ways that society has poisoned our minds against each other, fall away effortlessly. He is Man. We are Woman. We complement each other, complete each other and together, we can make Heaven on Earth.  When the blinders of culture have been removed, Man is so remarkable. Man’s strength, focus, and will are a precious gift to our species just as Woman’s nurturing, caring, Spiritual Love balances the power for a union that hums its completeness. It’s so marvelous, the untapped riches waiting for us from each other!

            Then we must turn that open, vulnerable heart towards each other and ourselves. The peace of mind that would come by looking inward at those internalized insults and judgments is staggering!  It’s been heard and engrained in our minds so much that it’s our own voices we hear, repeating the rhetoric towards Womankind. It’s the fear that we have taken to carrying, like pack mules being led around by a society benefitting from our fear about the freedom of our bodies. The fear that makes us want to leave our children to focus on climbing ladders constructed with Males in mind. Not the act of working and providing but that single minded focus that bears us away from the nurturing of our families. The fear that keeps us from opening, fully and without restraint, to our husbands because we’ve been led to believe it a weakness, somehow bound and gagged by the burden of a Family who could flourish with our selfless Love and Nurturing. If we turn those thoughts off for a moment; the fear, anger, helplessness and gaze at each other as Sisters. We can forgive each other and start over, to truly Love each other for the beautiful, nurturing Mothers, Sisters, Daughters, Grandmothers, Caregivers, Lovers and Friends that we brilliantly are. TO CELEBRATE EACH OTHER!!! In our bodies, we mimic the creative nature of this planet. I love that! It makes me so ecstatic that I want to run screaming down the street how much I love being a woman and how I’m grateful my body is such an amazing work of Mother Nature as my body is itself, Mother Nature!

            When I came out of it, I looked at Rosan and I knew my face looked completely different. She smiled and let me up. I felt very emotionally raw still, but I also felt an amazing peace I had never known before. I also felt a sense of purpose.  My sitter helped me to the art room where we are encouraged to draw or make collages to help process the feelings and experiences the breath work brought about.

            The lovely ladies that put together the workshop made us a healthy, delicious dinner. All of the participants enjoyed eating together and there was a definite closeness as we had all gone through something big. Not only does each individual have a process, there is a group process that unfolds as well.  It really is a holographic experience on many levels.

            At the end of the day, we gathered in a circle to share, if we chose, whatever we felt comfortable sharing.  It was neat because it was not a stage for discussion for others to interpret your experience. We simply took turns sharing and that was it. It was a very empowering experience.  After we shared, we helped put the room in order and we went our separate ways.

            My Holotropic Breathwork day was the tip of the entire iceberg for me. It opened something up in my thinking that proceeded to unfold over weeks. This isn’t a therapy that you undergo to feel better and the effects last for a few days. This is an experience that lasts forever because it opens your mind and you will forever be a changed being.  The days and weeks that followed kept teaching me more and more about my own beliefs that were suffocating my expansion. I was drawn toward books on my shelf that I hadn’t picked up in a long time. I was drawn back to the Holographic Universe Theory by Michael Talbot.  I was drawn to The Heart of Listening ‘A Visionary Approach to Craniosacral’ by Hugh Milne.

            This experience has helped my level of facilitating in bodywork and massage.   The idea of ‘Holding a sacred appointment’ has expanded the results of sessions with clients. The truly beautiful part of this work is not how it has enhanced my abilities as a person who works in healing, but that is has enhanced my abilities in healing myself. In fact, that is probably why my work is improving. How you do one thing in life is how you do everything in life, and it always starts with yourself.  What a beautiful lesson!

            As I have taken this workshop twice and will again as many times as I can, I will tell you about my second time. It was nothing like the first. I didn’t go into a rage; I didn’t feel sad or helpless. The next time was like a yogic sleep. I would hear the music, and then slip out of consciousness, muscles would tense and release and I would relax more deeply. In all reality, it seemed my last breath work allowed me to do Cranial Sacral therapy on myself. It was a beautiful journey though it seemed the deep effects of the session didn’t manifest fully until the next morning.

            The morning after, I awoke and eagerly went out into the cold with the dogs. My first thoughts in the morning are not usually about our dogs. But this morning, I heard one whining and I wanted, deeply, to make him happy. We walked and walked and I was so astounded by the beauty surrounding me. I was laughing and crying. Let me tell you, I live on the North side in a less than desirable neighborhood, but I saw so much beauty that I just kept looking and looking and absorbing everything. Later that day, driving around with my children, listening to John Denver ‘Sunshine On My Shoulder’, I became so overwhelmed by how much I loved my kids, how proud of them I was, and how the Love I felt might make the car fly apart from the sheer awesomeness of it. I had to park at the end of the parking lot and get my act together before I could stop sobbing enough to get groceries!

            The kids thought it was funny and we all thoroughly enjoyed laughing together. It was a moment of reveling in the pure joyous experience of Loving the hell out of my family. Some might scoff at that or say I was out of control of my emotions. Some might say I need to keep my head out of the clouds. You know what I say? If I can have joy, gratitude, the experience of the sheer abundance of Love that there is for me, why should it not bring tears to my eyes? Why would I not lose myself in something so worthy?

            This last breath work really sealed it for me. Joy is everything. Love is WORTH IT!!! It feels good to throw a fit because life feels so abundantly wonderful. I fully support joy fits! The last workshop also inspired me to seek out books and teachers. This time, I went to the library and checked out everything Esther Hicks that I could. I love the work she does. This time when I listened to her speak, it spoke to me on a level that I understood much better because I could feel the connection she was speaking of.

            In conclusion, after my quest into Holotropic Breathwork, my life has begun unfolding in the most beautiful, inspirational ways. I am so thankful to Rosan and Dorothy who facilitate the workshops. I have never met more compassionate, loving people. They inspire me as my own Divine Feminine nature continues to expand and develop within me.  There are few things I’ve done in my life as worthwhile as these workshops. I will go to many more. I will keep expanding. And through the example of my life, I will spread the feeling of Love, joy and abundance in all areas.

            Thank you for spending a bit of your time with my words and I. Always a pleasure to share with you. I hope that the wonderful energy created by any exchange we have is shared with people who are ready to receive it. I Love. I Love You. I Love the amazing expanding consciousness that is our Universe. I Love the Us that is beyond it. Thank you for being here and experiencing alongside me, as me, connected to me.  


Stacy Fisher
November 29, 2014

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Stacy Fisher. a.k.a. Lunar Lady is no longer at ART Salon and Spa

Hello, dearies!

      In case you received a wonderful massage from me, Stacy Fisher a.k.a. Lunar Lady at Art Salon and Spa, I am no longer affiliated. I will now, proudly, be working with Circle On The Square: Holistic Life Center. You can check out their website at

     This is such a wonderful move for my energies. I love the space and the wonderful therapists and yoga teachers. I am so excited to be able to do the work I love and teach yoga all under one roof. 

You can still call or text me directly to schedule! 417-693-4748

And please visit the website!

#artsalonandspa #artsalonandspamassage   #artsalonmassage  #lunarladyartsalonandspa

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

The Warrior Discount

The Warrior Discount

      As many of you know, I have offered a permanent 50% off discount to our nation's service men and women both active and non active. It has been my honor to help many of these individuals with their goals to reach a more pain free, comfortable lifestyle. Many have experienced relief from issues they were under the impression would plague them their entire lives. All were grateful to be treated with the respect they so greatly deserve.

     The reason I write today is to educate those who might be confused as to why I offer my services to these brave men and women at such a steep discount as well as to explain some changes I have decided to make. I have decided to broaden the discount from only serving our military to those others who selflessly put themselves between danger and the people they have dedicated their lives to protect. 

     Recently, I have had the opportunity to learn more about what it takes to be one of these people. Through reading Lt. Col. Dave Grossman's books On Killing and On Combat, my understanding of the physiological and psychological effects of combat and killing, has reached new depths. Where before, I had extreme respect for our fighting men and women, now I respect their path even more. Civilian men and women can not know what it is like to have to overcome their brain's own wiring to do what needs to be done when the moment of truth arrives.

     The truth is, these people are born with an amazing gift. Grossman states that in the normal, human brain, there is no desire to kill one of our own kind. It doesn't come naturally to us. In fact, our brains are wired NOT to kill our own kind and that is a very healthy, normal state to be in. There are those wolves that would feed mercilessly on those who would not do harm. We see in it our media everyday. However, there is another class of person that is born with the gift of aggression as well as a deep caring about their fellow man. Those would be the sheepdogs of our community, selflessly protecting the sheep from the wolves that would harm us.

     We hear, as Americans, a never ending tale about crooked cops, PTSD riddled returning Veterans, and negativity permeates every aspect of the media, coloring our views of our own Warrior Class. Where it is an unavoidable truth that there are bad apples in every profession, to blanket negativity on them all does them a great disservice. We would do well to remember that positive information rarely makes it as a lead story and everyday, there are thousands of police officers, Marines, Soldiers and others who are the first to jump into danger when others would turn away from fear.

     The fact that you practically have to seek out these great stories should show how separate we have become as a community and honestly, should bring an amount of shame that we can send our own off to fight and possibly die, without thinking of them, caring for them, or celebrating their safe return. It should also make us think about how we feel disdain for the officer who caught us driving dangerously but that in a moment of danger, we depend on that same person to protect our families and to save us.

     These people are not with out fear. Their bodies go through the same physiological effects that anybody's does. It is with a lot of training and conditioning that they are able to go into situations that would leave others a babbling mess, curled up in the fetal position, with their brains unable to function from the immense amount of stress and fear. The fact that they have undertaken this effort should be applauded. These facts should make it to where we smile at them, show them our support and respect as a people dependent on their bravery. Perhaps if we took the time and energy to learn more about what our Warrior Class experiences, faces and endures along the physical issues that accompany this choice of lifestyle, we would honor them as they deserve.

     So, it is with these thoughts that it is placed upon my heart that I do all I can to help these men and women to the best of my ability. I may not be able to shake every hand and express my gratitude to all, but what I can do, I do with eagerness. The modes of therapy that I have specialized in, the education that I have sought and continue to seek, is to help heal and to return the body to a normal state of health or as close as we can get.

     I offer my services at half price to them as a way to achieve health goals that is affordable as well as respectful of their life choice and how it relates to me. They protect and I am the protected. I hope by my example that others will take it upon themselves to learn more about what our Warrior Class means to us as a society and I hope it will lead others to seek out new ways to be of service to those who serve us, knowing that any day they may pay the ultimate sacrifice. There really is nothing that we can do worthy of the price they pay everyday.

     The discount will no longer be referred to as the Military Discount. From now on, it will be referred to as The Warrior Discount. 

Those who qualify are as follows:
Military Persons both Active and Non Active
Police Officers and others in the law enforcement field
Fire Fighters

     I hope that this has cleared any doubts, answered any questions and helped to educate about a subject dear to my heart. I will continue to strive to serve my community and to help everyone reach their goals of health, healing and wellness. My life's work is my life's blessing and I am grateful to share it.