Sunday, October 9, 2011

Progress in Self *page 1*

     Hello, all! It's been a while since I've written anything so I thought this would be a perfect time to write about what I have been doing and learning and hopefully by sharing with you, I can start a sort-of infectious self-exploration. I will also keep everyone updated as to new things I learn, revelations I experience and so on.  Let's get started!

     I guess the best place to begin would be a back ground history of the steps I have taken in the exploration of my SELF. When I was a child, I was raised in a Southern Baptist home in Harrison, Arkansas. Back in those days, Harrison was a little over 9,000 people. This is how they reeled me in. When you're a kid, they teach you the fun songs and there are fun activities and crafts. Jesus loves the little children of the world and God has the whole world in his hands. Then, when I was 8, having been thoroughly indoctrinated, I learned that I had to accept Jesus into my heart or this really horrible thing would happen. And so began my decent into fear. I was so afraid of hell! My town had this thing called an Apocalypse Trail. The other Baptist church would decorate their rooms and halls with the intent on scaring you into the doctrine. It scared me.

     I remember being frustrated, standing in church, singing songs I didn't feel or relate to, accompanied by the annoying  feeling that if I didn't buy into it that I would burn for all eternity. Things got even worse when my Dad started this Apocalypse class they were having at our church.  I would come home at night, after hanging out with friends and all I wanted to do was get to my room so I wouldn't get busted for looking high from a small amount of pot. My Dad would say, "Hey Stacy, come into the den and I can tell you about what I learned in Apocalypse class." Yeah. So, I would sit on the man cave's couch and listen to all this crazy stuff, high and paranoid, and then he would say, "Alright Stacy, go to bed." So began the nightmare years. I have had some pretty horrific Apocalypse nightmares. But then, something strange happened. It would be my first introduction into the world of Quantum Physics.

   It was 1998 and I was sitting on my bed looking at an Apocalypse time line my Father had given me. I was so tired of living in fear of this immense event and I was tired of HAVING to believe in something that didn't make sense to me. I lifted my head and I said aloud, "I wish there was some book that would just fall out of the sky and say 'this is how it is, this is the way things are and science proves it'."

     The very next day, I was at a friends house. It wasn't any special occasion. He says, "Hey, I was at Renaissance Books yesterday and I saw this book. For some reason, I thought of you so, here it is." It was 'The Holographic Universe Theory' by Micheal Talbot. I asked for it, really wanted it with all my being and the Universe brought it to me. That was the Law of Attraction at work. I needed it and we were brought together, much the same way as atoms are attracted to each other to form more complex energy fields. The Universe isn't about matter. It's about relationships i.e. relationships such as protons, electrons, our bodies, this planet, our Solar System, The Milky Way, this list goes on and on. Bits of accumulated energy attracting and repelling each other in this energy matrix that is a whole Universe being Conscious of itself, broken up into millions and billions of selves, all across the span of what IS. That book began years and years of research and study. What's so amazing is the deeper I dig, the more questions present themselves and I love to learn. It was perfect for me and it came at the perfect time.

     Over the last 13 years, I have experienced love, pain, happiness, despair, and desire among a multitude of other things.  I have learned a lot about myself and have grown spiritually, considerably.  So many times, I have gotten exactly what I have asked for, to the point where I have become very careful what I say and even what I think about. I slip up sometimes but as long as I can get back on track, things always look up.

     In this time of research and learning, I have come to know my energy and the feel of others' energy. I have experienced healing and prophetic dreams. I have done some pretty amazing tarot readings. I say that not to 'toot my own horn'. Some of the amazing ones were readings I did for myself but what the Universe was telling me and they way the message was delivered was what blew my mind. It was like the Universe was conversing with me on a friendly, almost Sister/Motherly way. Like She was making fun of me while guiding me in a positive direction. It's hard to describe. There have been times in energy experiments where I felt powerful and high from it and times where I have felt the ground beneath my feet in my very own forest where I am the forest and the forest represents everything in creation. That, also, is something that is hard to describe.

     I believe that what awakened the Consciousness that is ME in ME, was the mindset that there was no one absolute truth. Once I undid that programming, doors opened for me that let me experience other things. I believe that ancient people had a deep understanding of spirituality that is so easily lost nowadays with technology and a society that isolates people in a fear state. It's hard to find peace in the world we live in, it seems, at times.

     In the next paragraph, I am going to tell you, pretty much, what I believe. When I say this, I am not saying what you believe is wrong because what you believe is what you perceive, based on the laws of this Universe and I celebrate your ability to create your own life.  Some people need tools to focus their attention and I use tools too. I don't claim to be Wiccan but I do believe in the vibrational properties of plants, herbs, the power of the moon and symbols and talismans. Objects have the power we give them and as a spaced-out, crazy red-head, I NEED tools to help focus my energy. Some need a Bible. I don't judge. My beliefs are my own, I'm just sharing them.

     So, what do you believe, Stacy Fisher/Lunar Lady? Well, I believe in Quantum Physics. I believe that anything is possible as all of this is an illusion (in relation to matter and consciousness) and I am working to unlearn the destructive teaching and programming that I have undergone in an attempt from this society to make me into a cog for the machine. I'm not a cog. I have learned and experienced that I am a powerful being. I have seen people create in their own lives and I realize that we are our own masterpiece. It's not easy and it takes more than just positive thinking, though that is a huge part of it. It is vigilant effort. Not only do I visualize my ideal future, I am also careful about what messages and energy I am receiving from those I surround myself with. I have not become a master by any means. I am still a grasshopper in learning to better create my life.

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